How to Love Yourself Unconditionally
We are living in a society where there is so much pressure and stress to be Perfect that it produces anxiety in us. We look around at others and it seems like everyone has it all together, except for you. People seem so much farther along than you are. Someone has it easier than you. Everyone’s relationship seems so perfect, but yours seems dull, faded, and stagnet again. But guess what, it’s someone looking at you thinking the same thing.
One I started talking to and opening up to other women, I and you too if you so dared, would soon realize that we are much more alike than we know. We all just want to be happy and well. So I just started talking, being open, being authentic and transparent, sharing my thoughts, pains, heartaches, struggles, joys, triumphs, me…. And guess what, they shared too. And we learned from each other and here are some things I picked up on the way that helped me along in my journey to loving me unconditionally.
Stop Comparing Yourself - and shift your focus and energy to you and your journey. There is only one you so comparing yourself to others is pointless. But do understand that comparing ourselves is natural in the competitive way that we have been socialized so tread lightly because it can be dangerous. This alone will help you feel free.
Bump what they Think ~ There a saying that goes, “what you think of me, is none of my business’ and it’s not. Don’t worry about or let other people’s opinions define you. You can not make everyone happy and trying too will only make you miserable an slow you down in your journey of becoming your masterpiece.
Nobody is Perfect, I mean. let me say it again NO.BO.DY. (imagine my hands clapping at the periods). Everybody makes mistakes, at least that is what we were told when we were younger, although it feels like pressure mounts for perfection the older we get. So cut yourself some slack. Geeeezzzz. We learn from our mistakes, so make them and fall forward and grow from them. Embrace your past and just don’t be so afraid of making them that you become paralyzed. Make em’ grow from em’... the lessons you will learn are priceless.
You are not your body. Your value does not lie in what your body looks like even though society tries to trick us into believing just that. There are so many distractions to make you believe otherwise, and unfortunately we start buying into it. Being your authentic self in spite of the package is what is most valuable. Just you.
Let them GO. Periodt ~ if there is someone who is bringing toxicity into your life and won’t take responsibility for it, it may be time to step away from them, including that toxic version of yourself. Change is hard, sometimes painful, but so liberating and important. We have to be responsible for the energy that we are putting out into the world.
Look into your Fears ~ NOOOOOOOOO…… But really. Do you know that feeling afraid is natural, hence don’t reject them, try to understand them. Seek clarity. We women like to be private investigators anyway; let our husbands or boyfriends phone ring at 2:00am, we immediately remember our previous life as a private investigator (just a lil humor). Thus investigate yourself. Evaluate your fears. Ask why? That clarity alone will help you understand some issues you may be having in your life that are causing you anxiety.
Be Your Best Advocate ~ You know you better than anyone, so stop second guessing yourself and trust yourself. We usually know in our heart of hearts what is best for us. Your feelings are valid.
Stop waiting for Next Time ~ Take every opportunity life hands you or create the one you want. Nothing is stopping you. For real. Nothing and nobody, but YOU. Stop waiting for the perfect time, you will die waiting. It may not be the ideal situation, but don’t let that hold you back from your goals and dreams.Go for it. The perfect time is when you make it.
Be First ~ Yes, first. I know it’s hard for women to do this. We are the nurturers, comforters, sacrificial lambs…. We are so used to putting others first, and although there is a time and place for this, it should not be at the cost of your mental, physical, or emotional well-being. Not putting you first and decompressing and recharging, you can put a serious strain on yourself. Whatever helps you destress, make time for it. It can be painting your toes, plucking your nose hairs, taking a walk in nature, or staying in bed. Just make time for you and don’t feel bad about it. You need you more than anyone else.
Feel. ~ Allow yourself to feel. Your pain, joy, happiness, hurt… Lean into your feelings and don’t place limitations to them. Like fear, pain and joys are emotions that help you understand yourself and help you realize that you are not your feelings.
Be Bold and Be YOU. ~ Get into the habit of speaking your mind. Don’t wait for permission, just show up and give notice. The more you speak your mind, the bolder you become; it’s like an exercise. Contribute your thoughts, join the conversation, take actions, and know that you are just as important as anyone else.
Find Gratitude and find beauty in simplicity ~ Challenge yourself to notice at least one beautiful, small thing every day that you can be grateful for. It is essential for joy.
Learn to be Your own best friend ~ Anything you would not say to your best friend, don’t say to yourself. This world is full of harsh words and critique, so don’t YOU add to it. Speak kind to yourself and not be mean to yourself and celebrate your wins and yourself.
Habits are what makes us and breaks us. So even if you have yet to develope strong habits and don’t feel particularly powerful, give yourself credit for how far you have come and what you are willing to do to be a better you and love yourself better. Your reading this article... Yaaassss! So be patient with your growth, you can’t give a baby steak, right, hence nothing will happen overnight. So the more you decide to choose habits that serve you, the more you take up reservations in your own heart.
Just commit to the process of taking the journey to the Masterpiece called YOU.